August the Sixth

Birthday Love! I'm treating myself to a whole birthday year, everyday of 26 will be special to me and I'll treat it as such. I won't wait for Janurary to start my resolution. 

 

This is the beginning of my year and the beginning of my acknowledgement of my own mortality. Death is HUGE part of life. I've made it my ally and look forward to running with the hands of the clock. My time on this earth belongs to me, I plan to share it with others definitely, but will find the time I set out for them to do so. Being a slave to the time of others has put my life in dismay, caught off guard by the fact that a theif will rob you of more than money, and what's crazier is some of them I've invited in. 

Precious is my time on this earth and for the entirety of my 26th year on it I will show that if others don't acknowledge it's importance, even if I have to rid myself of "life leeches", it's imperative that I show myself that Teddy cares. 

DON'T FEAR FORGIVENESS 

I want to speak to those just like me for my first post, excuse where I (we) may be right now but this must be discussed. I heard of infidelity in relationships multiple times this week. Stories of husbands cheating on spouses of 20+ yrs, girlfriends on boyfriends and vice versa. I have cheated in the past and it SUCKS for everybody (even more so for the faithful) BUT the cheater has a long road ahead of them as well, let's discuss the steps.

 First there is a sense of shame or guilt depending on the reason for you veering off the love trail, it may take days, months or even years to set in but you will face the one you hurt either in presence or absence. The latter is the tough one because there is no possibility of outside understanding, all reconciliation will have to begin and end from within. When no ones around to blame or attack for your actions, guess who you turn to to lash out on… that's right you (the one truly responsible).

 This leads us to the next very crucial step in healing from our actions. Fear plays a major role in understanding ourselves because we only can fear from within. Not to say outside things can't scare or startle us but to be afraid is an option, and when you've broken trust amongst anybody (friends, lovers, family etc…) it seems to be the only viable one there is. We become so cautious not to become a victim of what we feel is our destiny... cheaters HATE to be cheated on. We build walls and point fingers to ward off a promise never made to us. Finding love is hard is you must always examine it first. This is by product of fear.

 We find ourselves in this maze of guilt and fear and it begins to consume most faucets of our lives. We don't dream so vividly anymore, we find excuses to take the back door out of relationships and friendships. We find solitude and build our fortress. Today I want cheaters to know that mistakes don't make or break you but how you choose to deal with them does. Let's take some time out today and find peace for things done to others (who usually don't hold us accountable as long as we hold ourselves) but more importantly what we continue to do to ourselves.

My heart always goes out to the ones caught in the crossfire of infidelity, but I want the offenders to know that when it feels like no one cares, YOU should because Teddy does.